Who Am I as a Communicator?

While enrolled in this course, I am continuing to learn about the ways in which people perceive me and the way that I communicate with others and relate to others. There are many ways to communicate and send messages varying from verbal to nonverbal methods.  “Our thoughts and cognitions influence how and what we communicate to others and at the same time influence the way that we interpret the behaviors and messages that others send to us." (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2009, p. 38)

Upon completing the three assessments from the application this week, I was very pleased to discover that there were quite a few similarities between how I evaluated myself as a communicator and how others evaluated me.  What surprised me the most is that a colleague and family member viewed me as I viewed myself.  Our scores were not the same, but they all fell in the same category.  It seems that in most circumstances, individuals view you totally different than you view yourself.  In this situation, this was not the case.   

I learned that I am very comfortable communicating in most situations and I feel confident in anticipating such encounters.  I knew this about myself, but it was reassuring to see the confirmation from my assessment results as well as the results from other individuals that evaluated me.  I do believe that I have a good balance between respect and consideration for others’ viewpoints, and the ability to argue fairly by attacking the position rather than the person holding that position.  In my professional life, this method of communication is quite effective and has helped me be diplomatic in many situations that could have escalated to a different place.  

Communication Among Cultures

There is a wide range of cultural diversity within my community, workplace, and family.   Their differences are from many aspects such as race, religion, political affiliation, sexual orientation, and the list goes on.  After reflecting on my history of interactions, I do find that I tend to communicate differently with individuals from different groups and cultures. 

Communicating differently with individuals from different groups and cultures is not something that I do intentionally.  I believe there are many people that also do the same and aren't even aware of the fact that they are communicating differently.  

I can think of a couple of examples where I have had to tread lightly with a group of my older, more tenured teachers.  These are the teachers that are set in their ways and do not adapt well to change.  Whenever there is a change within our organization, I approach this particular group of teachers differently than my other short term teachers.  Now that I think about it, information is information, and presentation can be the determining factor of how the information is received.    The teachers flying off the handle really is not an option.  Insubordination is just that, insubordination, no matter who you are and how long you have been employed.

I also tend to communicate differently with members of my family.  I am more direct and straight to the point with my mom's side of the family.  I am more reserved when I am communicating with my dad's side of the family.  I am realizing this revelation as I am completing this assignment.  I am not sure why I am more reserved and quieter when dealing with my paternal side of the family.  I am very comfortable with my relatives on my mom's side of the family because they are very kind and nurturing.  They embrace and accept everyone!  My dad's family appears to be more judgmental.  I would just rather greet them with a smile because I never know what they are really thinking about me in their heads.  Frankly, I don't think I ever want to know! My dad's family just has a different culture than my mother's side of the family.  I love them all though!

Based on what I have learned this week, the three strategies that I am going to use to help me communicate more effectively with the people that I am struggling with are:

1). Identify with social roles, a set of expected behaviors that is associated with people in a particular position and be consciously aware of the of the rules that govern a social episode like my personal communication (Vuckovic, 2008)

2). Take the time out for self reflection, and think about myself, my past, present, and future.  Communication success depends on being cognisant of the roles and identities one embodies at a given time and their influence on behavior (Vuckovic, 2008).

3). Utilizing the Platinum Rule in communicating with others, such as my colleagues in my workplace and my family. It is imperative that I remain in touch with the beliefs and perspectives of everyone and provide every attempt to communicate without differences in order to be an effective early childhood professional. 

References

 Vuckovic, A. (2008). Inter-cultural communication: A foundation of communicative action. Multicultural Education and Technology Journal, 2(1), 47–59.

Assumptions Based on Messages

The television show that I chose to analyze is "Friends".  I do not watch normally, but I have surfed channels and seen the show in passing.  As I watched the show with the sound turned off I observed a lady and a man sitting at a table across from each other.  Based on the ways the lady and man are communicating, I really could not tell what type of relationship they were involved in.

I started to assume the lady and man were possibly in a relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend.  They were looking at each other with direct eye contact and they started to hold hands.  They seemed to be engaged in a serious discussion. It seems as if they are expressing some type of affection for each other.  It almost appears as if the woman is telling the man something that is not going to make him happy.  The woman is the one that reached out to hold the man's hand as he shakes his head.  

I turned the sound on and the assumptions that I made were somewhat accurate.  The woman was telling the man that she did not share the same feelings as he did for her.  They were friends and she didn't want to ruin their relationship.  I think my assumptions would have been more detailed if I had been watching a show that I know very well.  Knowing the characters and the roles that they play on a familiar sitcom would have made my insights and experience a little easier.

Facial expressions and body language plays a huge role in communication.  Eye movement and hand movements say a lot about what a person is trying to say.  

Competent Communication

My district manager is one person that I can definitely say has demonstrated competent communication within a particular context.  She exhibits knowledge, wisdom, dedication, drive, and commitment.  I have worked for her the last eighteen years and I have nothing but the utmost respect for her.  She has the ability to be nurturing and kind, and she also has the ability to take that "tone".  I refer to the "tone" as the boss tone, meaning I need you to do this particular task with no questions asked.  

I have found that over the years, I have adopted her communication skills when dealing with my own staff.  My district manager has the power but does not use the power mechanism to get her point across, she just asks for what she needs.  I would never question her as to why or use any other tone other than a respectful tone with her.  Her knowledge exceeds anything that I have ever witnessed.  Our district ranks top the majority of the time.  My district manager is a great leader and mentor.  I have watched her get people to confess certain accusations and totally trust in her because she just has that skill.  I also have that same ability and it is helping me to become a more successful manger.

Professional Hopes and Goals

When I think about working with children and families from diverse backgrounds, I hope to touch each family on a personal level.  This course has really helped me to dig deep within myself and now I realize how much I need to work on "me".  I will deter from using microagressions and I hope to educate others on the negative effects of using microagressions regardless of an individuals race, sexual orientation, gender, etc.  My whole perspective of connecting with my families has changed.  I can feel the difference when I communicate with them.  I hope to learn Spanish as a second language to increase my capability of communicating with families that would otherwise pose a language barrier.  

One goal that I would like to set for the early childhood field related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice is to educate my colleagues that we must conform to our surroundings.  The minority will be the majority, and we must do what is required to ensure that we are on the cutting edge of research.  I will continue to increase my knowledge in regards to diversity, equity, and social justice.  I will take a stance for the children and families enrolled in my facility to protect them from being victims.  

I would like to send out a huge thank you to all of you for sharing your personal experiences throughout this course. This course did dig up some deep feelings and I applaud each of you for enlightening us on what you have been through.  I wish each of you good luck in your future endeavors and I hope to have you in my next course!