There are many times that I have witnessed a child being reprimanded for pointing out someone they saw as different. One incident that I recall involved myself and a little Caucasian girl that may have been no older than the age of three.
I worked at a Foot Locker store before I began my career in early childhood. I was helping a customer try on shoes. I vaguely heard a soft little voice say "What color are you?' I turned around and there was this cute little blond baby with all signs of curiosity in her eyes. She was so innocent and she could tell that I looked very different from her. After the little girl asked me about my color, I did not respond because I was a little unsure of what to say, so the little girl proceeded to ask me again as she followed me around the store.
The little girl's father looked mortified! He kept apologizing to me and saying that he and his wife do not teach differences. He told the little girl to tell me that she was sorry. I told the father that I was not offended by any means and there was no need for an apology. I explained to him that I was impressed by the fact that she was observant enough to notice that she and I were two different colors. I did ask the father if it would be okay for me to answer her and he said absolutely. I told her that I was black and gave her a hug!
As the little girl and her mom and dad proceeded to leave the store, the little girl kept turning around, smiling, and waving goodbye to me!
Theresa I enjoyed reading your story. At first I wondered why you didn't respond immediately to the little girl, and then realized you held back out of respect. This anecdote illustrates perfectly the picture I have conjured in my mind about the type of person you are and have come to know through our studies together. I think you have given the little girl a precious gift of confidence, by taking away the fear people experience when they first express the differences they notice or are curious about. If the situation had been left as it were, for the parents to deal with, it might have had a different outcome altogether. Your action reminds me of the Zulu/Nguni word "ubuntu", which means I am because you are (Woodhead & Oates, 2010). "Ubuntu represents kinship across race and cread which unites mankind to a common purpose or a person with Ubuntu is open and available to others, affirming of others ..." (Arch Bishop Desmond Tutu, n.d.). Nelson Mandela describes it as enabling the community around you to improve. May you continue on your wonderful journey of supporting and influencing those around you.
ReplyDeleteReferences"
http://askubuntu.com/questions/424/what-does-ubuntu-mean
Oops I forgot to reference Woodhead and Oates (2010).
ReplyDeleteWoodhead, M., & Oates, J. (Eds.) (2010). Early childhood in focus 6: Culture and Learning. Milton Keynes: The Open University. Retrieved from http://www.bernardvanleer.org/Culture-and-learning?pubnr=1222&download=1.
Children will automatically notice differences and when they are young and curious they don’t think anything of what they are saying. It’s adults that make it seem like being different is bad; when really it’s just the opposite. When children are taught about our color, language, and physical differences they can grow up feeling empowered by the knowledge that being different is great. I’m glad the dad let you tell her-hopefully the dad learned that he should talk to his daughter and even read stories about being different.
ReplyDeleteTheresa,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your personal story - and a positive one at that! If all people could interact with children that have questions about diversity and not be ashamed, then it would help eliminate stereotypes and show children that being different is not bad, just everyone is. Showing how the parents also supported your conversation with her also shows their willingness to improve their child's viewpoints and her education. You story was very uplifting tonight!