My observation took place in a Walmart store near where I live. I watched a mother interact with her son that appeared to be about three years old. The mother and her little boy were in the produce section of the store. They passed the bananas and the little boy expressed that he wanted a banana. The mother picked up a bunch of bananas and placed them in the grocery cart. The little boy started to cry and the mother had a blank stare on her face. The little boy then yelled that he wanted his banana right now. The mother tried to explain to the son that the bananas needed to be weighed first and then he could have one after they paid the cashier. The little boy continued to scream that he wanted the banana and the mother kept reinerating that they had to wait to pay the cashier first. The little boy looked at his mother and said, "Now!". The mother then picked the little boy up out of the grocery cart and exited the store.
I noticed that the mother used a very patient soft tone in the beginning. After her son kept screaming, I could tell that she was becoming unsure of what to do or say. Her tone turned somewhat firm after her son continued to scream. I learned that young children have no understanding of what it means to wait due to the fact that fruit needs to be weighed. I feel that maybe the mother should have told the little boy that his screaming hurt her ears as well as the other people in the store. I felt like she did the appropriate thing by taking him out the store instead of allowing him to continue his temper tantrum. The mother did not use a humiliating tone or mean tone. She gently removed him from the grocery cart and carried him out the store. She was very firm, but her son obviously just wanted his banana right then!
I believe I would have probably handled the situation just as this mother did. When dealing with two and young three year old children, it is imperative to understand that they do have the patience and understanding of older children. My own son has the same issue when we go into the grocery store, therefore I have to pack snacks to take with us. Needless to say, this was defintely a short observation!
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ReplyDeleteHi Theresa, I like your idea of packing in snacks for your son. I wonder what would have happened if the mother had let the little boy help her to take the bananas to be weighed and then given him a banana to eat? But then I suppose what message is the instant gratification going to give the child. I would have also left the shop calmly with my child.
ReplyDeleteJust last week I witnessed a family dealing with a screaming toddler. They chose to ignore the child and each other and continued with their shopping, subjecting everyone to the child's screaming. My heart ached for the boy. I had to leave the supermarket because I found the pain in my heart unbearable. I chose to go window shopping in the mall just to escape from the situation. As I emerged from one of the shops some thirty minutes later, I heard the wailing child heading in my direction. He was still seated in the trolley, his face was all red and puffy, and his nose was streaming, all the while screaming at the top of his lungs. His parents ignored his behavior. I was astounded that they could be so disconnected from their sons needs. I know I have no idea what set the child off in the first place, I do not know his personality, or the family's circumstance. I think even if they were stranded at the mall, reliant on a taxi for transport, they could have handled the situation differently. If I had been in the same situation I would have taken my child off to a quiet spot and would have tried to calm him down and take care of his needs. My heart really went out to the little guy and found myself wondering about his life and how he would end up perceiving the world?
I have seen this behavior many times and it is difficult to witness because of how upset the child gets and unless you are in the situation you have no way of knowing how the parent will handle the situation. I agree with you about taking the child outside when he wouldn’t stop, but he might be used to getting his way and for whatever reason it wasn’t happening on this day. It seems like she stayed fairly calm under the circumstances.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree, I think we have all benn in this mother's situation. I know I have. I had twins and they were about three at the time when it happened to me. We were at the check out stand and the store had a basket of balls by the window at the exit. my son started it by saying, "I want a ball", then my daughter started in "I want a ball too". I was paying my grocery bill and it was starting to escculate. It turned into a full blown fit. I had to manage groceries and a kid under each arm as I exited the store. My twins are 24 now and it is a funny story to tell even though at the time it was not too funny.
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